This week has been the hardest. This week I have been obsessing about every little sensation and wondering if everything is ok?
Did I break it?
What was that?
Is it my bladder?
Have I done the right thing?
That is balanced out by me showing gratitude to my body and feeling like everything will be ok.
I have been up and I have been down. Prolapse is an emotional f*cking roller coaster.
The Incision
The incision seems to be healing well (I can only see the outer part) and the tenderness has subsided. It has now been replaced with a sense of fullness. I feel my vulva and I don't love that. Hoping that will continue to subside. I have stopped with the polysporin and will soon be switching to Vital V from Moonmaid Botanicals. Such a beautiful salve.
I also felt just a tiny bit inside and felt the stitches. They haven't dissolved yet so many some of the sensations I am getting are from that? Who knows. I am just trying to be rational and calm and grateful. I want a positive outcome. I want to help ensure a positive outcome for others.
Movement
I am continuing with the Core Confidence Exercise Program and this week I added in the clam. I am doing the core breath (kegels), bridges and the clam. I have also been doing a few pelvic tilts and a prone hip extension really focusing on my glutes.
I went for 3 walks this week - one really long one and 2 moderate - about 40 mins. My pace is picking up a bit but I am being very careful no to overdo anything. I am also very careful with my footing in the forest.
I have been doing a bit of stretching. Sometimes it pulls on my perineal scar so I back off. I miss some of my lower body stretches and yin yoga but I know I will return.
Baths
I am no longer using perineal herbs but I take a bath pretty much every night. It is soothing to my body and it gets my body ready for bed. I add 1.5 cups of Epsom Salts to my bath now.
Food etc
I have not yet stopped with the stool softeners. I want to stay on them until the stitches are gone. I am very conscious of my water and fibre intake. I also take magnesium.
I have had a few symptoms from gas and needing to have a BM that were reminiscent of a symptomatic day with my rectocele. I am hoping those will subside as I continue to heal and also while I continue to address my diet and optimize my gut health.
No Lifting
I have a husband and 2 sons who have been doing all the heavy lifting and housework. I am very fortunate to have them. I am not doing major house work. I put the odd load of laundry in or unpack groceries but no heavy lifting. I am not lifting much except a put out of the cupboard maybe. I am missing fitness and sweating and moving freely. I am missing my hypopressives. I do the odd apnea here or there and can't wait to get back. I am grateful for my walks and looking forward to a regular routine again but am being patient and trusting the healing process.